There was nothing unusual about this morning. Yet this morning felt different. As she stood on the balcony looking outside, she felt the cool breeze move her gently as if it wanted to play with her hair.
And today she wanted to smile back and play. She was happy without reason. And she liked that feeling the most. And she thought about her husband and family. Her children sitting with her and listening to her as she moulded them with love. She thought about the songs she would sing and touch people’s hearts. She thought how people had come to acknowledge that she sang songs that were not popular yet so uniquely different and moving. That they came to her to listen because they couldn’t find this anywhere else. She thought about her prayers and how today all of it had been answered. Standing here, she loved listening to her own voice, she had prayed for the purity of each note and she had been blessed with it. Today she could sing about joy and hope and love and trust and safety. And she could invoke in each listener that soothing yet intriguing feeling that made them want to enjoy nature and love the people around them unconditionally. And today she could be a catalyst in that.
Some say we are nothing but tiny dots like any other rock or sand particle. One day we will cease to exist and just become one of those rocks again. Others prefer the more mysterious “the universe exists for us and events in the universe are connected to events in our life” theory. You cannot deny that everything about us, our brain, our society, the things that drive people to do great things, makes you suspect that there is more to us than we are able to see or understand with our limited abilities.
I like to believe this. That we are more than we understand, and an important part of universe. I also believe that when we die our understanding will expand and we will see things very differently from how we see it now. But I am not sure I understand why we put ourselves in this situation of narrow point of view.
Most of my understanding of life comes from experience and observation. I don’t think I ever had an “I just know it” moment. But I have noticed that some people are just wise. As if they are born with it. And I wonder how that happens. Did they have experiences in their past life that made them wiser and they just know that to win at this life they have to remember that wisdom. Is it like a game we keep playing till we get everything right? Or is this a very human way of thinking? I for one get obsessed with redoing and rectifying till I get the process right. That I could never manage to actually get it right in the second, third , fourth , millionth attempt is a different point. I mean every time I think I know the answer, and I will get it right this time, life throws a different variable into the equation. And I almost always get that part wrong. So do experiences really make you wiser. Or is there something else here that I am missing? Some Zen level understanding of everything without actually having to go through an experience. Some access to collective wisdom?